Technology continues to shape our lifestyles in countless ways, even influencing how we experience romance. I’m not talking about dating apps like Bumble or Tinder. I’m talking about dating simulation apps. Game developers have truly mastered the art of captivating hearts with their fantasy-filled genres, dramatic storylines, and the visually stunning characters they create that leave us players swooning over the game.
But beyond the emotions they stir, dating sims might be shaping what you expect from romance in real life. Let me drop a little “aha!” moment and show you how these games might be influencing your reality without you even noticing.
When virtual love redefines reality
I’ve played my fair share of dating sims, and they never fail to stir up emotions through the interactions and virtual gestures between characters. It’s especially heartwarming when they deliver lines that exude protectiveness, love, sweetness, and all the qualities anyone could dream of in a future partner. Add to that the incredible performance of the voice actors, who bring each leading character to life with such depth, emotion, and charm, and the experience becomes truly unforgettable. But behind the scenes, there’s something deeper happening—your heart and mind are subtly reshaping your expectations of what a real romantic relationship should be.
Some will seek the same kind of romance—simple yet meaningful gestures like making time for each other, sharing stories, building understanding, offering affirmations, and even exchanging virtual gestures to stay connected. It feels as though the game characters just know exactly what you need to hear and feel. This can create unrealistic expectations as we enter real-life romantic relationships, where we might expect those same perfect gestures, good communication, and emotional fulfillment. However, reality often does not come with a script or pre-designed interactions, making it a challenge to match those idealized experiences. In a 2018 article, Rohil Aniruth explores how those dreamy moments in dating sims might be sneaking into your real-life expectations about love. While they’re fun and full of charm, they can set a bar that reality might struggle to meet.
For some, romance isn’t the main draw—they’re more interested in the entertainment rather than the virtual love connection. A study by Wangzi Han found that female players can clearly separate fantasy from real life. While they get swept away in the idealized romances of dating sims, their choices in real-life relationships are shaped by the world they live in. This means that players are able to solidify their perspective, understanding that while games offer an escape into a perfect romance, real love is shaped by the messy, unpredictable, and beautifully flawed dynamics of real life.
But that doesn’t mean you should stop playing dating sims altogether. Honestly, from my experience, there’s so much joy in diving into these games. They let you explore how you’d react or respond to those heart-fluttering lines and interactions that can also be present in real-life situations. These may include being open to dates closer to your area, letting your suitors show off their skills in certain types of games, offering unwavering support as you tackle new challenges, or even something as simple as the classic “how’s your day?” check-in.
Dating sims are sweet, but love is real
I think we can all agree that love is a beautifully messy emotion. It’s not just one thing—it’s a whole mix of affection, passion, intimacy, compassion, joy, and sacrifice. It’s dynamic, ever-changing, and wildly subjective. For example, one moment, it’s all butterflies and heart eyes; the next, it’s about deep talks and shared moments. We sometimes find ourselves seeking this kind of connection through dating sim characters, which is fine because you’ll be able to know more about how you give love to others or even yourself.
What’s missing, though, is the raw and genuine emotion. Dating sims, no matter how captivating, are carefully calculated, lacking the depth and authenticity that come with real-life connections. While some people might be content with the idealized version of love these games offer, it’s important not to get too attached. Since it will be difficult to experience real-life romance if your heart keeps on glowing-up based on the dating sim characters you interact with. Trust me, it’s not easy to find someone in real life who matches the vibe of your favorite virtual romantic character.
Exploring emotional intimacy in a real relationship is far more magical. It allows you to fully experience the complexities of genuine connections—relationships filled with real emotions, personal growth, and the beautiful unpredictability of human interaction. In the end, it’s those unscripted moments that make love truly extraordinary.
Words by Alyssa Joji Silva
Also published in GADGETS MAGAZINE Vol. 25 No. 6 Issue.