Bacon. Lovely bacon. How much bleaker a world would we have if we did not have bacon? And now the procedural gap between bacon and mouth has become such a more streamlined thing: not even a need to put on a shirt for hungover morning boiling grease protection. Enter the Bacon Express from the good people at Nostalgia Electrics. The heated surface accommodates six strips of regular or thick-cut bacon and cooks them in just minutes without having to flip them over. Simply close the double doors over the yummy bacon and it cooks evenly on both sides. The vertical cooking method with the nonstick surface takes away the requirement of extra oil, and actually drains away the excess bacon grease so you can pretend to care about your health while you eat porcine gold. The bacon grease is deposited into the slide-out drip tray so you can dispose of it easily, or, you know, just put it in an IV drip.